You have stumbled upon...
Joo's awesome archive
of
emo notes.
...
Go find out why Joo's emo today. >>
Click on the
bones
to navigate.
[Best viewed in Internet Explorer]
:: Ignoramus :: Going Insane IV ::
May 02, 2007
A recipe that had gone so completely wrong -- Hell, that's my life. Everything I touch seems to screw up badly... Psh' if you were to ask me to rate it at a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it an 11... What? It's that bad, what. I mean, how nice is it to wake up to your family ( I don't even know whether to regard it as a family or not ) ignoring you? And when you try to talk to them, or at least spark a conversation, they simply say, "I'm not talking to you. " and start ordering you around. How do you like a mum who seems to hate you for every bloody single thing you do, or rather how things turn out? I don't mind being corrected for something that I could change if I had put alittle more effort into doing it. But, beyond everything, I especially can't tolerate when someone just have to 'hand-pick' my weaknesses, that I'm not even capable of changing in the first place and narrate it to the whole damned world. FYI, I did NOT decide upon my outlook or physical appearance and what more, I did NOT choose to live. What wrong have I ever done to you that made you despise me to the abyss? I inherited your genes and characteristics, and I'm not even blaming you for my so-called "deformities"; I'm pratically a part of you. Normally, people I know don't boast about themselves in public, thinking that themselves are perfect, flawless, a masterpiece from heaven. Now, I don't know why you changed or what influenced you to shape into this 'hideous' being. Sometimes... Well, most of the time I felt that I should move to another table to sit when you're around doing your 'thang' or maybe acknowledge others that I'm not associated with you, at all. Frankly speaking, I don't know what your expectations of me are, really. You seem dissatisfied with all my accomplishments (If they are to you, anyway). You praise brother for every tiny little thing that he does, but vent your frustrations on me even when I'm doing something for your sake - I can name them, no sweat. You don't even mind my brother getting red marks in his report card but by the mere mention of, "I might get a B for ____ ( Insert any subject ) " would mean sending us both into a deep argument or cold war intertwined with misunderstandings and a dash of hatred to 'spice' things up. Getting kicked out of the house would be her select doorgift. Marvellous, for someone who can't take jokes. You are no different from brother - You place the welfare of others over that of your relatives. I can now say this confidently : Anak di pangkuan dilepaskan, beruk di rimba disusui.
Held captive in her self-conjured abysmal vortex,
.::Jolene::. - Leave me alone
... as said by Joo
at 12:33 pm
